it didn't start with fireworks. it didn't end with them either. through the dusty flat edges of the blinds light trickled in. it bobbed and buoyed in that ocean-like rhythm as the breeze from the overhead fan teased the blinds. a nudge this way and that, as if testing the limits of just how much light could be let in before the game was over and the jig, as it were, was up.
he didn't know what was going to happen in these next moments. had he, perhaps he would have pretended a little harder at being asleep. or maybe he would have poured even more of himself into it. or maybe he'd have quietly rolled out of bed and went to the bathroom. if the other boy (because in this moment they were both boys. it was something that couldn’t' be avoided until after) had woken up, well, then things could have played out differently. but he didn't know what was going to happen and things moved along as these things do. on their own. and in their right time.
it didn't start with fireworks. it was a gentle brushing of fingertips across his hand from his sleeping partner. on any other day but today, such a gesture could be taken for what it had been before. "are you awake? good morning. what time is it? i have to get to work, so do you. i'll text you later. have a good day." today...
the exploration didn't stop at his knuckles. the smooth crispness of the other's flesh moved further down, past his wrist and up his arm. tracing the outline of bone that connected to his shoulder. and that made him shiver. oh, the jig was up. theexplorer knew he was awake.
his eyes were closed, but he could feel his friend (a word that he thought underscored what they were) looking at him. it sent that strange tickle over his shoulder and down his spine. that weird tingle in the middle of his forehead that he just got when he knew he was being watched. and it was all so much, the caresses and the stares. he couldn't suppress the smile any longer.
the whole thing had been, if he could use only one word to describe it, gentle. there had been no hurried movements or quick kisses. no throaty growls or frenzied thrusts. it had been just the two of them. the wantoncraving for one another had been held back by the greater need to love. five minutes. ten. it didn't matter. it hadn't been about needing to finish a task before time expired.
it had been slow and careful. the only noise that had been made aside from the occasional pant of breath was the fan spinning over head. and when they moved with each other, in a pace and synchronization that couldn't possibly have been accomplished (so they thought) with any two other people, they brought themselves to their peak.
neither knew, as they made their way back down, that it would only be a matter of time (the same time they thought they could never run out of) before it ran its course.
blind could these travelers be to the road set before them,
ever their course wander.
hand in hand they'd stumble,
till broken back and worn.
and still surprise would take him
and him, apart piece by piece
as if from blue sky lightning struck,
though it had hung on display for all.
this gentle morning from which
this love had been born
could survive no longer than
the softest heart in hell.
it hadn't started with fireworks. it hadn't ended with them either. they smiled as they came apart and linked hands. gentle words shared between them, their eyes sharing more than their mouths could ever fathom to say.
-fin.
