7 pm

 

It blinks in a rhythmic beat.  Flash.  Dim.  Flash.  Dim.  It is off in the distance, far enough that I can see the entire structure the radio tower is perched on, but close enough to make the illusion that I could wrap my hand around it and

A cooler wind blows past.  I shiver.  The end of my cigarette flickers and flares as I inhale.  The red light on the end of the radio tower continues to pulse.  On the streets below, cars pass.  Small groups of people, one or two at a time, begin to mill out of their homes as the sun sets.  It is a signal for the fun that comes with the night to begin.

One day I will be dead and no longer able to participate in all that is going on out there in this vast complex of steel and glass; of flesh and blood.  I flick the cigarette off the balcony.  I watch it tumble, fast and sure, to the ground below.  The embers spark and splatter in a brief display of heat and light.  And then it was finished.

Inside the apartment someone waits.  A faceless body of artificial warmth that will still the shivering, if only for a little while.  I lean forward, arms folded across the black railing.  I inhale.  A car honks.  Someone yells out. 

The red light flashes.  Dims.  Flash.  Dim. 

I am fog rolling over the hills in the vast stillness of predawn.  Over dewed grass and wildflower I seep.  I encompass sleeping doe and fawn, a thin, elusive blanket.  For a moment, all is as it should be.

The sun rises.

The door opens.

I begin to melt away with each ray of golden run.

Footsteps.  Almost hesitant.  Eyes on my back. 

Melting still, fading over green pasture.

A gentle hand brushes my back before two arms slide around me, encompassing me, enclosing me.

“Let’s go inside.”

I open my eyes.  The sun is gone and it is full dark.  The red light on the radio tower, perched atop an old hotel, blinks.

“Yeah,” I reply, but make no movement.

Squeeze.  A gentle kiss on my neck.  A hint of more, but I can’t bring myself to care.

Another car horn blares.  The towers of downtown are checkerboards with darkened and lit offices.  I inhale.  He withdrawals and grabs my hand.

He leads me inside.  I pause before entering and look back at the night.

Flash.  Dim.  Flash.  Dim.