Dream a la Lynch

Warning! The following events happened (probably) in my dream last night, whatever pieces I could fit together that is. With that said, there are somethings that happened in the dream that certain people might want to avoid reading altogether. So considered yourself warned any family or people who'd rather not get certain, ah, mental images in their heads.

Alright, disclaimer done.

-cef

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I'm standing on the corner of Bell Road and Cotton Lane, watching as cars speed by. It is sunny and the air rests somewhere between chilly and warm. Upon awakening I will realize that this is not how the corner of this intersection actually exisits. But I'm dreaming and unaware, so things proceed as they will.

There is an "authentic" (beacuse the neon sign deems it so) Japanese restaurant with doors wide open, beckoning me inside. I enter. People lounge on floor mats around low-resting tables, word bubbles and noise flittering around their heads. Fire and smoke issue out of the middle of some of these tables, but I continue walking forward. I am meeting a party of friends.

I proceed down a rather lengthy hallway. The tiles on the floor are distorted and wavy, as if being viewed through an aquarium. They're teal and green and blue and speckled with flecks of gold. The ceiling is impossibly high, though at the time I thought nothing of it. I pass a long bar where talking sushi chefs in tall white hats and black aprons furiously slice huge slabds of raw fish. They toss small, white porcelain cups to the talking heads hovering above the stools. The heads open their maws and ingest the sake, (I assume that's what was in them), cup and all.

The fact that these heads have no body and mouths impossibly large don't seem to phase me. I have people to meet. Near what seems to be the end of the hallway, an oriental woman stops me. She starts talking about my the party I'm meeting and how they're are just in this next room and if I'd only come in through the door I'd meet them, only there is no door and I politely decline her invitation and continue walking. She's still talking as I walk away.

I finally make it to the end of the hallway without any further fanfare. The door is white and plain and wouldn't otherwise be present in a place like this. I open it and proceed to enter.

I come to find myself inside a family room with carpeted floor, a couch and two easy chairs facing a rather large and antiquated televesion. My friends are seated on every cushion available. I give a "hello" to the room, but no one seems to give it any attention. I turn to see what they are watching.

What I originally thought for an enclosed room was actually no so. Behind the television, where a wall would normally be in a room like this, was the open outdoors and, what appeared to be, the side profile of a white house with one of those wraparound porches. Big, old American cars drove slowly on the street in front of the house. Perfect lawn. Perfect trees.

A couple was on the porch, arguing rather violently. I realized, after closer inspection, that the two had an uncanny resemblance to Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet. Only they kept calling each other "Frank" and "April". I also realized that every word they spoke, every action they took was being played out in black and white on the TV.

"Stupid cunt bitch!" He yells and moves to strike her.

"Oh big man!" she shouts. "You gonna hit me, huh? You gonna show me what a big man you are?"

"April don't make me..."

"What Frank?! Do it you asshole! HIT ME!"

"One of these days bitch, one of these days-"

"Straight to the moon? Oh please! Grow a pair!"

And as if on cue he has these pair of gardening sheers and the next thing you know he's lodged them in her throat. She's wide-eyed and gushing blood.

Somewhere in the background a studio audience applauds.

I'm shocked at the events that have unfolded before my eyes and turn to leave. Sydney, a friend of mine on the couch laughs.

As I turn toward the door, the room is suddenly altered. I'm lying on a bed, hardly clothed. Conner hovers over me on all fours, naked and erect. He kisses me. He kisses me hard enough to draw blood. We begin to roll around, at some point the rest of my clothes are removed. Our hands move feverishly over one another and we're lost in the moment.

He starts to trail kisses down my chest, toward my abdomen. I open my eyes and I'm back in the sushi bar. Sydney and Ivan are laughing and spilling drinks over the table. I'm reaching forward from my seat between them to try and stop the spilling.

As my hand comes between their glasses I'm once more in bed, naked with Conner's head between my legs. I inadvertantly smack his head and he withdrawals, looking up at me confused. I shrug and he makes a move to return to his previous attentions, but suddenly gasps in pain.

With a speed I haven't seen, he's off the bed. His hands grab his visibly throbbing penis; his face eschewed in pain. I move toward the edge of the bed to get a better view of what is going on. I see him looking down at himself, his fingers moving over a piece of metal on the head of his penis. It looks like he has gotten himself a Prince Albert and it must have caused some sort of problem, but then he's unscrewing the metal.

He starts to pull it out of his shaft and I can then see that the metal piece is attached to a small hose. He keeps pulling and makes a motion as if to offer me the hose. I see now that it's actually a hose to a hookah and smoke has started to emit from his dick.

"Conner."

And then I blink and Frank and April are making up as if nothing happened. As if he hadn't, moments before, taken a pair of sheers and ended her life.

April smiles. "Pass the-"

CUE ALARM. I WAKE UP. THE END.