let’s talk about the sex

I’m supposed to be writing, or starting to write, a story based on a picture I pulled off dA about a kiss. instead, because I just can’t seem to focus on writing that story right now, I’m going to talk about sex. Or rather, better answer a question I was asked earlier today.

Q: Corey! Just how many guys have you been with? Huh, huh? Are you a slut? I bet you are! The quiet ones always are!

A: (at the time) Yes. I am a raging cum whore. Bukkake or die!

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Now, that’s not even close to the truth. She pressed for a number and I wouldn’t give her one. Personally, I think it’s tacky to blurt out a number, as if it were some badge of conquest or honor. Then again, if your goal in life is to have sex with as many people as possible, then more power to you.

I didn’t have the time or inclination to provide my real answer. That and “what’s bukkake” kind of curtailed that conversation.

Real Answer: I’ve been with enough guys that I remember all their names (well except the ones I refer to as "Grand Canyon", "Meth Head" and "Christian Closet Case") and what having sex with them was like. I didn’t necessarily have a meaningful relationship with everyone one of them, though some might say even a one-night stand sexual experience does have some meaning. Each was different and opened my eyes to different things. Not all were great, but I’m still glad I had the experiences. There are even a couple I wouldn’t mind going another round or two with ;D

I look at sex as a way for two people to connect on a deeper, more intense level than if you were to say, just have a conversation or share a kiss or even punch ‘em in the face. Sometimes there’s love behind it, sometimes there’s just the need to feel something and sometimes it’s just because you’re horny and you want to get your rocks off. I don’t look down on or differently at guys (or girls) who just want to whore around. (So long as it’s safe and consensual)

I think media and entertainment have put this glossy, rose-colored lens on sex that really differs from the reality of the matter. It doesn’t always come from a place of love and frankly, it shouldn’t have to.

I like to ask some of the people I get into “debates” about relationships and sex with: “Why can’t two people come together, for even just a night if that’s all it is, and share a singular connection through sex? And then, when it’s all over, go their separate ways? Why does it have to always be something more?”

I usually just get some half-answer or a mumble or something about “being afraid of commitment” or “someone has self-esteem issues”. Someone who has control of their sexual identity and life has to have self-esteem issues? Really?

I guess for some, it’s like Cameron Diaz’s character in “Vanilla Sky” said":

“When you sleep with someone your body makes a promise, whether you do or not!”

Personally, I like to use another one of her lines when I’m feeling sentimental with another guy and he’s just not having it:

“I swallowed your cum, it means something!”